Your beginnings are long before your birth, long before sperm fertilized egg..
Once upon a no-time, in a no-space far, far away, something miraculous occurred.
Consciousness, in a moment of transcendent, blissful, orgasmic, willful, intent created this universe and infused itself into its own creation. Matter was born of spirit. Cosmologists refer to that event as “The BIG Bang.”
Immediately following no-time/no-space came Planck-time/Planck-space. That’s when everything, including the whole potential future of the universe (that includes you), was still compressed into a space smaller than the point of a needle, smaller even than one atom of the point of a needle; and there wasn’t yet enough time for you to think the first letter of “let there be light”, not even enough time yet to imagine a nano-second.
Amazingly, in this little itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny time/space, all the elements that would soon become the entire universe with its billions of galaxies, including the one you currently inhabit, already existed. They had not yet fully formed, but the patterns were there and all the sub-atomic quanta (wave/particles like leptons and quarks) that would expand and mutate to become universe were already there.
Imagine it; more jam-packed full and more frenetic than the most popular rave club ever. Enough energy to power the trillions of future stars and a quadrillion sugar-overloaded two-year-old humans, all packed into something so small it can hardly be imagined.
No wonder it exploded.
Now, some 13.8 billion years later, we are still riding the crest of the wave caused by that explosion. Big Bang is a big understatement. It was the biggest and most exciting event that has ever happened (at least in your universe).
Now, get this: you were there; physically, mentally and spiritually, you were present. Maybe you don’t remember all that well, so let me remind you…
The molecules that make up your physical body are recycled exploded star stuff. Every single element that makes up the body that you use to walk around this planet came from exploded stars. You are presently nourished by the star you call Sol. Stars were formed out of condensed hydrogen, deuterium and helium molecules. These vast clouds of hydrogen and deuterium were formed out of the quarks, gluons, leptons and other sub-atomic quanta that existed in that Planck time/space. Every physical bit of you is built out of the stuff that exploded out of that original singularity. And so is every other thing that exists in this universe.
The consciousness that now reverberates in the entity you call you was, likewise, present then and there. And so was all the other consciousness (self-aware or not) that exists in all creation. Consciousness, your own and all other individualized parts, existed in that singularity, just as surely as did all the other pieces of the present universe.
That which you call your mind was there/then, the same as it is now/here. Remember that the universe is made up of everything that exists within it. Your mind and your consciousness exist within the here and now universe. They, too, like your body, had their origins in the there and then universe of Planck time/space.
All the rest of the you that is you… the stuff that is beyond the physical and mental… call it the metaphysical or spiritual was also there. There is not one thing that exists in this universe, including the spirit of you, that was not inherently present then/there. Your life force, your spirit, your soul was also present there/then just as it is now/here.
So all that is you, no matter how or what you conceive yourself to be, was present (at least in potential form and pattern) at the very beginning of all that is now called universe.
Pretty awesome thought when you think about it, isn’t it? Well, try this on for size… in order for it to be present in that split, split second after the very first arising, out of nothingness, of universe; it also had to be integral to the very act of arising out of nothingness or void. And, it had to be part and parcel of what caused all this we currently are able to perceive as universe and self.
So, whatever name you want to call that force that initiated all that is, it is inescapable that you are an integral part of it. Just as you cannot separate yourself from universe, you, likewise, cannot separate yourself from the consciousness that caused universe.
That primordial consciousness in which all things have their genesis exists in you now just as it did then and you exist within it now just as you did then. Any separation you might feel or perceive is an illusion… a self-imposed illusion.
The creativeness that I speak of, though, is more than that. I am speaking of that same awesome creative power that brought everything out of nothing.
Since you are an inseparable and integral part of that which can be called the original cause (no matter how small or fractured or disenfranchised you may feel or think yourself to be), you are, nevertheless, still capable of creating something out of nothing.
The creative power of your consciousness lies in your ability to conceptualize and idealize. Thought creates. It was thought that caused the universe to come into being and it is thought that continuously recreates the universe in each new moment. The power of focused, purposeful, intentional and concentrated thought is at your command.
However, in order to access that power, you need to radically re-conceptualize your Self.
Instead of perceiving yourself to be a body with a mind that has evolved to self-consciousness, you must come to see yourself as being pure formless consciousness that is acting out this existence/experience by having (or taking on) a mind and inhabiting (or taking on) a body just as you once participated in acting out the experience of having (or taking on-ness/creation) of universe.
Become your full, creative and true self by walking the Planck and stepping off into the void/ocean of pure beingness.